Siriusly Annoying
by rosalie alice
Summary: Marlene despises Sirius, while Sirius think he might more than fancy her. Can he show her he's being real? Marlene McKinnon and Sirius Black.
1. On The Hogwarts Express

_September 1_

_Right after Hogwarts feast_

DAMN YOU BLACK!! YOU'LL DIE BY BE ME AND A COUPLE OF MANDRAKES!!

Now that I've gotten that out…

Hi! I'm Marlene McKinnon and I'm part of the "Sirius Black Is A Git Association", aka the SBAGA. (You know there is one.) It's mostly composed of me, myself and I. Yeah, so there's no such thing. Hell, I'm surprised that all the girls he's spurned haven't formed one yet. But of course, they still are in his fan club. Stupid gits.

Maybe I should explain why I hate him. Yeah, and why I'm writing in here.

So it all started back at Platform 9 ¾. I'd just kissed my mum goodbye, and was heading over to out usual compartment. "Our" being Lily Evans, Alice Prewett and I. We're best friends, starting since our first year. We're seventh years by the way.

Anywhoo, (marvelous word that is), I was walking along dragging by trunk when it became all light. I mean of course I got suspicious. So I span around, and my hand just happened to connect with Black's face. Yes, _Sirius_ Black. The remaking of a Greek God, according to his fan club. Eh, he's not much, all he's got is looks.

"Is that the way you greet your old chum McKinnon?" he said in an annoyingly happy go lucky voice.

"Get away Black. I can handle my own trunk you know." I gave him my best icy glare, which, If I say so myself, are quite good.

It did nothing to his freaking annoying Marauder-self.

"Come on McKinnon" he grinned grabbing my arm as I tried to turn away. "Just helping out a damsel in distress. Besides. Don't all girls carry around all their makeup, and shoes and all that junk?"

"One, I am NOT a damsel in distress." I said tugging my hand out of his grasp. "Two, I'm not like most girls. And three, I am not in need of your help." At this I bewitched my trunk, and walked (with dignity) into my compartment, thinking _Don't look back, don't look back._

Of course I looked back.

And of course he had the most sickeningly annoying grin on his face, as I slammed the compartment door shut.

Alice and Lily were already in there, Lily in her robes. Being head girl didn't make her fun sometimes, but you had to love her anyway. Alice was the one you broke the rules with. Lily greeted me, then rushed out to go to her Head meeting. She went off muttering something about who the Head Boy would be.

So, I vented out what had just happened to Alice, who listened with a bit of a smirk on her face. After awhile, she fell asleep, so I just started chewing licorice wands quite vehemently (ooh! Big Word Alert!!).

We got to Hogwarts, the sorting went on, Dumbledore said some weird start of the year feast having to do with potatoes, and (I swear that man's brilliant, but slightly off his rocker; He's my hero) and introduced the two heads, Lily Evans, and to much general astonishment (I didn't think much of it, I was WAY too hungry)… James Potter. Which seems slightly weird if you think of it…

Anyways I stuffed my face, much to the disgust of Lily. Alice didn't care, she was too busy drooling over Frank Longbottom. Hey, I was hungry. I think Remus found it amusing, he's a chum of mine, even though he is a marauder. James was drooling over Lily (big surprise), Peter watching in amazement as Sirius stuffed his face too. The one thing we have in common, the love of food, of which I must admit regretfully.

So when we got back to the common room, I started venting off to Lily, who told me too shut up and write my thought in this dumb book instead because, apparently she didn't want to hear it, and then headed off to the Head common room.

So hear I am, writing in this book. Because I have nothing better to do. And because everyone's asleep, and apparently doesn't want to listen. Ah well. This is actually sort of soothing. Not that I'd admit it to Lily. I'm tired, I suppose I'll go sleep and vent off in the morning about the mysteriously sexy Sirius Black.

WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!

Okay, it's obvious that I'm just seriously sleep deprived. Yeah, that's it. I'll just got off to bed now.

-Marlene


	2. Sirius Black IS a Player

9/01

Behold my awesomeness puny book of thoughts! You, my dear friend are in the wonderful presence of me, the wonderful, marauder, Sirius Black, known to my close friends as Padfoot.

Anyway, Moony (Remus to those who do not have the honor of associating with us elite pranksters) was tired of me drooling, (it was manly drooling) over the lovely Ms. McKinnon, so he said to write down what I think of her in this so called "thoughts book". Prongs (James) says Remus ought to be a "sigh-cya-tree", whatever the hell that is. Prongs reckons I ought to have paid attention in Muggle Studies, but if I did, I wouldn't have gotten the chance to stare at Marlene…

Aah, Marlene, the reason for my misery, my one true love…

WAIT A MINUTE!

Marlene McKinnon is NOT my true love, because I'm a player, yeah that's right. Sirius Black doesn't have a true love. Blimey, I reckon the longest I've kept a girlfriend was a week, but only to make Marlene jealous.

WAIT! Sirius Black does not have the need to make people jealous. Besides girls are always flocking to me, trying to make me jealous. And jealousy doesn't work with me. Siriusly, (ha ha, pun intended, ooh! That was a big word alert right there) I've got nothing to be jealous of.

Marlene will fall for me soon, 'specially after the suave, debonair (big word alert!) move I made on her on the Hogwarts Express earlier today. Being the gentleman I am, I helped her with her trunk, and continued to use my expert flirting skills on her. Course, her reaction was rather cold… Ah well, keep on trucking is what I always say, even though I **never** say that.

Anyway, I'm off to steal Moony's supposedly "secret" chocolate stash. I swear there's not a soul who doesn't know where that is. 'Cept for Wormtail. Poor Peter can be sooooo pathetic. It's a wonder it is that he still hasn't found it. Moony hasn't changed it since third year, when he figured out we found it. It didn't help that I um, might have woke him up one night, causing him to discover me on a Sirius sugar high, covered in the candy wrappers. Hey! I had too much sugar, and I cannot handle my sugar well…

Until next time thought book,

_-Sirius Black, the awesome, handsome, deviously clever Marauder_

**--**

**Hey Guys. It's me, Nymphadora Rosalie, the author. This entry may seem short, but I am still in school! Keep checking up for new updates, I'll try at least one new post every week, which could never happen. Nonetheless, don't give up hope!**

**By the way, a "sigh-cya-tree" is actually a psychiatrist. You know those wizards, I'm afraid they'll always have a bit of trouble with those strange Muggle things…**

**Reviews could give an earlier update… at least 15 total, with 10 different people.**

**And please, don't hide in people's closets… (bit of randomness)**


	3. Quick Note

Author's Note

Okay I'm not going to wait for 15 reviews, it's wrong for the people who actually like the story. Thanks if you do like the story! I'll update soon, school life is busy, so stay tuned!


	4. Minnie Needs a Man

09/21

Minnie is soooooooo boring. There could not be enough o's in that so. I think I'll redo that so, hang on.

Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo boring.

I think that's enough o's to describe it! Anyways, we're in Transfiguration with James drooling over Lily, and Remus drooling over some girl from Hufflepuff, and Peter drooling over James. Honestly, Peter can be very pathetic at times. I need to show him the correct way; the marauder path in life.

He needs a good prank to make him stop being such a, uhm, oh! Such a rat! Haha! That's me hilarious Sirius Black. Ahh…

Anyways Wormtail needs a bit of fun in his life. I'll need to come up with a plan, that's what I'll do. Marlene is so hot…

Woah, bit of randomness (big word alert!!!) right there. But it's true. She should so date me. Wait, I need more o's in that so.

She should soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo date me, Sirius Black.

See how many o's? That's how awesome it would be if she said yes. Wait? Have I even asked her out yet? You know, it'd be good to do that, then I can see if it works. Well, of course it will, because I'm Sirius Black! Duh, I need to think.

Anyways, back to drooling over Marlene, I mean uhm, doing manly stuff. 'Cause drooling is not manly.

Hold on McGonagall's headed this way, and Minnie's in a right temper this morning. Hang on before I sign off.

…

Okay, back. Charmed her with my dashing good looks. Course, I only got a detention for trying. Dear old Minnie needs a man in her life, maybe I should play a bit of a matchmaker…

EUREKA!!! I've got it! And I also know just the way Peter will be involved…

Anyways, the report is in, and I'm out!

_Sirius Black_

_The Most Dashing, Clever, and Brilliant Marauder of all_


End file.
